"Beautiful Planters and Statuary for your Treasured Garden"
"PEOPLE SAY I LOOK STONED"...
but I gave that up in the 70's! I know I look miserable but I suffer from Migraines, and when I get one of those...it takes over my entire being! Mama "Heddy" used to get them also. It doesn't effect my job though as I have a excellent head for figures and am now HEAD administrator of Florida's largest Hat manufacturer! Mama Heddy always said "Seymour Honey...you've got a good head on your shoulders! I'm getting married to the beautiful Testa!
(Planted with Burro's tail Succulent)
Meet the Crazy "Cranium" Family...
There's gonna be a Wedding!
THE BRIDE AND GROOM
Seymour thinks he is ready to marry Testa Brainuccu. They met at the 2006 Annual Cowboy Hat manufacturers convention in Millinery Texas. Seymour fell HEAD over heels (although he doesn't have any) when he first laid his eyes on beautiful Testa. She in return totally "lost her HEAD" and went back to his room the first night! They've been together ever since. Testa is from Italy by the way! (wink! wink!)
(Testa planted with Rhipsalis)
MAMA HEDDY CRANIUM
The Martriarch of the Cranium family. Heddys husband Harold passed away when the children were small of WHS (wandering head syndrome). She toiled for years as a Wig stand for a very wealthy Celebrity (No names divulged except that this Celebrity-Singer had a husband named Sonny and a daughter named Chastity). She raised her 4 crazy-head kids on her own and other than the typical problems most parents face - Head Lice, young Richard going through his Head-banging stage, she did good! ) Heddy's friends refer to her as "a Good Head".
Heddy planted with Wilting Blue Daze
THE WEDDING SHOWER
The Cranium gals all got together and threw Testa (top) a wedding shower. They wore their finery and even brought their dog Ziggy. Testa recently moved to Florida and is HEAD teller at Hollingshead Credit Union. Pictured here is the Grooms Mother Hedda Cranium (left) and bridesmaids Akee Cranium (right) and Bella Cranium (bottom). Cocktail of the day was "Miracle-Gro Martini's. Wedding photo's to be posted at a later date.
Is one of the Testas best friends. People find her a bit snooty at times and very Cheeky. Even though Bacopa think's she's really "HOT" and had her hair done for the Shower...what she doesn't know is that she's still got "brown roots" We have no idea why Testa keeps Bacopa as her friend as she can be quite "biting" with her remarks and even brought a tear to the Bride's eye on this very special day! Very sad!
(Bacopa is Planted with White Bacopa and Oyster Plant)
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M A BRAINIAC!
Testa's sister Samarta also attended the shower. She's written several books on Skin care and is HEAD Cosmetic Surgeon at one of Florida's most prestigious Facial Acid Peel/Rhinoplasty Clinics! Some of her biggest clients include the late "Hedda Hopper" and fashion designer "Edith Head". As you can see Samarta obviously does not practice her skin care skills on herself!
(PS: this is a strange photo - does it not look like there's an eye peering over the right glass lens???)
THE GROOMS SISTER
Akee Cranium. (pronounced A-kee).
Unfortunately for Akee, she had 1 too many cocktails and ended up on the floor! Akee's kind of stuck in the 60's and still parades around with a Beehive Hairdoo. She used to be a very attractive girl back in those days and was a real HEAD turner! Several years and a little too much fertilizer has taken it's toll! Even though she spent several years in the lobby of the Betty Head rehab clinic in Ca., it didn't help. She would have a good heart though (if she had one! hehe)
Akee is planted with Topsy-Turvy Echiaveria and variegated Dischidia
SHE'S A CUTE GAL - BUT...
Having won the 2004 Miss Headon Forest beauty pageant (she won a scholarship to the private Head-Royce school in Berkeley but quit because she clashed with the Head Mistress) Jenny (as in creeping) thought her looks would carry her for the rest of her life. Unfortunately a near-fatal Wheelbarrow accident in the garden curtailed her plans and left her with an unrepairable and disfiguring scar above her nose and forehead. Even cousin Samarta - Head cosmetic surgeon couldn't help her!
Jenny is planted with "Creeping Jenny" and Brazilian Red Hots.
A QUIET MOMENT...
To discuss details of the wedding. So much to do and Testa feels like just burying her Head in the Sand! Good thing she has Headstrong friends to help her. Music is an important part of this wedding and they've decided that the first dance will be to the couples favorite romantic song "Put your Head on my Shoulder". Don't let the crooning music fool you though...one of their favorite bands is "the Talking Heads". The couple is very eclectic with their Music tastes and also dig Jimmy Buffet and Parrot-Head Bars. PARTY-ON!
BROTHER RICHARD (We call him Dickie)
Dickie Cranium an Ex-boxer, has always been on the other side of the law and runs a HEAD shop in the seedy section of town. He's never been married and doesn't believe in it! He keeps telling his brother Seymour - You marry that Testa girl and you may as well "put you head between those pretend legs of yours and kiss your pretend ____ goodbye! So much for brotherly support! The rest of the family just thinks he's out of his head with jealousy!
Dickie is planted with Burro's tail and Topsy-Turvy Echiveria
SEYMOUR sitting at the bar...Taking a rare moment of solitude to gather his thoughts and clear his head. Since he met his love Testa - his head has been in the clouds. He feels like slapping Brother Dickie "upside the head" for making such crude comments, but then again as Brothers, they've always butted Heads! Maybe Dickie's right this time! Seymour is feeling like a chicken with it's head cut off and has no idea what direction to go! Poor Guy!
IN THE MEANTIME...
The gals continue discussing the wedding plans. Akee is worried about the booze at the wedding and suggest they serve "Dynamite" (the Dom Perignon of fertilizer). Bacopa thinks that "Head Cheese" would make a wonderful appetizer. The only real thing that Testa is worried about is her Veil. She's looked at a lot of designers and is really considering Vera Wang. Another problem they have is that nobody seems to be able to come up with a proper HEAD count! Arrrrrggghhhh,
A FROG IN THE BEEHIVE!
As the evening wore on, poor Akee Cranium got so rip-roaring drunk (Miracle-gro Shooters!) she didn't even realize she had a Frog in her Beehive! Meanwhile, the rest of the Cranium family is trying to figure out a way to gently dis-invited her to the Wedding. (They call her Lush-Head behind her ears - as she doesn't have a back!) We're thinking she may need some HEAD-ON headache medication in the morning!
ALL'S WELL WITH MAMA THOUGH!
OBLIVIOUS to everything that's going on, Mama Heddy is so excited about the wedding she's been experimenting with new and exciting hairstyles. When she ask's the kids what they think...they're like, ummmmmm Yes Mother, nice Perm and Blue Rinse! (snicker, snicker, snicker).
Mama planted with Blue Daze
Oh No? That's not Testa? What could possibly be going on here?